New year, new outlook

NEW YEAR, NEW OUTLOOK

Do you ever wonder why new year’s resolutions fail?  Partly it is because people rely on motivation to keep them going.  Motivation, though, isn’t enough – an extremely clear and strong desire to be different is what is required.

As a parent, it is easy to be self-critical; to feel guilty for not having spent enough time with the children, for being too strict, or too lenient.  Most parents have something that they would like to work on changing. 

Reframe your outlook – shift away from where you believe you are failing and move your focus to your positive alternative.

NEW YEAR, NEW OUTLOOK
Photo by Tejas Prajapati on Pexels.com

New year, New Outlook

Do you ever wonder why new year’s resolutions fail?  Partly it is because people rely on motivation to keep them going.  Motivation, though, isn’t enough – an extremely clear and strong desire to be different is what is required.

Clarity about who you want to be rather that what things you want to acquire or do is the most powerful motivator. 

Knowing why you want to be different is what will keep you committed.

As a parent, it is easy to be self-critical; to feel guilty for not having spent enough time with the children, for being too strict, or too lenient.  Most parents have something that they would like to work on changing. 

Constantly telling yourself you are not enough is not going to help you achieve change.

Reframing your outlook to be more positive and to focus on what you want to be, instead of who you don’t want to be is a winning formula.  Take the focus off the area you believe you are failing in and move your focus to your positive alternative.

NEW YEAR, NEW OUTLOOK

Is it that you want to be more kind?  Patient?  Loving?  Choose the ONE thing that you want to be more of and create a filter to bring this into everyday life.  A filter is a question that can help you to keep your focus in any given moment. 

3 years ago I decided that I wanted to stop being so righteous.  I became that way because I often felt in a position where I had to defend myself with family, and felt I had to prove I was worthy at work.  I didn’t like what it was doing to my relationships and so I looked at what the opposite way of being would be – for me it was kind.

If my daughter did something that I didn’t approve of, yes I need to draw it to her attention, but I don’t need to labour the point.  There is a clear moment when she realises that she has made a mistake, and her face shows that she now feels bad about it.  At that point, I no longer need to be right.  It is a time to focus on how I do want her to behave, while modelling kindness.

When I am coaching my clients, I have knowledge and can see things in them that they don’t.  I don’t want to be a know-it-all about this, I want to be kind and deliver it with love.

So my filtering question became “How can I say this with kindness?”  When trying to construct a way to give someone feedback or say no, I run it through my kindness filter. 

There has to be a payoff for committing to a filter – feeling like a better person, and a better parent is likely to be it.  When you feel at your best, you bring the best out in others, and you model this for your children.  Of course, this isn’t going to be perfect 100% of the time, but having this intention set, and a reminder in the form of a filter is really helpful.  It isn’t a one time resolution, it is a commitment to being the best version of you that you can be.

So who are you going to be in 2021?

NEW YEAR, NEW OUTLOOK

About the Author

NEW YEAR, NEW OUTLOOK

Women in business turn to Susie Ramroop when career and life is not meeting expectations. She expertly stops unhelpful patterns of self-judgement and impostor syndrome and focuses on what matters – progress, fulfilment and balance.  Susie’s mission is stopping you believing you can’t be what you can’t see. Her book “Be The Leader You Want To See” is the blueprint for being the best possible version of you – at home and at work.  With heart and humour, Susie brings easy clarity to confidently stepping into the career you were made for. She is a highly sought-after speaker, coaches privately and leads utterly transformational retreats.

Find her at www.susieramroop.com where you can get a signed copy of her book.  Connect with her on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susie-ramroop-mindset-coach/

@Susie Ramroop 

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