Ten tips for raising resilient children.


We all want our children to be successful at whatever path they wish to pursue. However, we all know there are plenty of bumps on the road to success. The most important thing we can teach our children is to be resilient. Your ability to promote resilience in your children correlates with your own self-efficacy emotional resilience. One of my mantras is Fortitudine vincimus endurance we conquer. Resilience is defined as the ability to adapt successfully to challenges that threaten the person’s survival, function, or future development.

Resilience comes not from failing but from the experience of learning that even when things don’t go as you planned or hoped, you can pivot, start over, try again, and succeed. It’s a skill a child can develop as they grow and is not something they either have or don’t. This mindset requires the understanding of success and the various paths to create it. Overcoming challenges can be our most powerful lesson, motivator, and sense of accomplishment, driving us to take on more complex challenges. However, failure without support or the appropriate coping mechanism sets us up for a cycle of confidence, quitting, and ultimately more disappointment. 

All children are capable of working through challenges and coping with stress. Resilient children are likely to take healthy risks, exhibit curiosity, be courageous, and trust their instincts. They have a deep understanding of their limits and can push themselves to step outside of their comfort zones, which aids them in accomplishing long-term goals and to solve problems independently.


So how do we foster that resilience?

1. Teach them about self-care.


We all know the importance of self-care and our adult “me time” Next time you are doing your self-carepractices or routine, educate your child on the whys and help them develop their own self-care routine. Not only do children need you to model these behaviors, but it’s vital they start young and develop their own self-care practice. This will help them build their capacity for resilience regardless of life’s ebbs and flows.

2. Help them navigate their emotions

When a child is “acting out” or throwing the usual temper tantrum, before jumping to conclusions and going straight to punishment, spend a few moments exploring their emotions. You can ask your child to describe what they were / are feeling in that moment and help them put names to specific emotions. Additionally, you can ask the child to explain the trigger or thought process behind them acting out. It might be a fun game to give that particular feeling or action a name, so anytime a child is experiencing such intense emotions, they learn to express it differently by calling it the fun name they made up.

3. Help them build self-awareness. 

Building self-awareness empowers your child to align their actions with their intent, values, purpose, and vision for their life. Instilling self-awareness can be through mindfulness activities like journaling, meditation, movement, or visualisation

4. Scaffold Problems 

Help them build confidence and self-efficiency in problem-solving by tackling manageable challengesfirst and then build up to more complex challenges.

5. Focus on effort, not results.

Praising the work and effort they demonstrated, instead of the result helps foster a growth mindset. Instilling a growth mindset helps children reframe adversity. What they may have previously seen as a problem now becomes an opportunity to showcase their skills and ability.


6. Affirm your child’s ability to impact the world.

Encourage your child and affirm them with words, body language, touch, time, and gifts. Create an empowering environment by validating them for who they are instead of who you want them to be.

7. Model positive self-talk.

We all know our children are like little sponges, and they soak up everything. So, it is critical that we model positive self-talk not only when we interact with our children but, more importantly, in how we treat ourselves and those around us. Modeling positive self-talk teaches children how they can regulate emotions and encourage themselves when you’re not around.

8. Embrace Mistakes

Children need to see you fail, so they don’t have a false narrative about life. You don’t want them feeling like they will never live up to their parent’s success because we did everything so perfectly. Show them when you fall or have to restart something over. This lets’ them know it’s okay and reassures them they too can start over when necessary.

9. Embrace Uncertainty

Allow children to sit with a problem instead of just immediately solving it for them. When they are stuck,help them break the problem down into smaller pieces, which will help develop their own problem-solving skills. By promoting these skills, children will experience less anxiety in the face of adversity.


10. Set aside time to let them parent

Give children dedicated time daily to address their wants, needs, and concerns. This helps build a stronger emotional connection for both the parent and child, which builds their ability to express themselves. As a parent, this allows us time to listen to their needs, to provide them with a better environment to succeed. Additionally, this helps the child express their concerns and needs to others. 


About Arika Trimnell, spiritual and mindfulness expert – https://prismvibes.com/

Arika Modupe' Trimnell

 Arika Modupe’ Trimnell is a spiritual and mindfulness professional who aims to help others heal from the past, align with the present, and surface profound clarity to build a wonderful, empowering future. As the founder of Prism Vibes, Arika has an extensive background when it comes to religious teachings, inner activation, and soul realignment and enjoys leveraging that to guide purpose seekers towards living a life filled with purpose and happiness. 

With a degree in biology and having worked in educational sales and higher education for over 10 years helping children live their full purpose, Arika believes people are their own guru, and there are multiple paths you can take to uncover and ignite your internal power to break past mental, emotional, and spiritual blocks.