4 THINGS BUSY MUMS DO MAKE LIFE EASIER
I’ve been binge-watching Netflix lately. That’s not true. I’m constantly watching Netflix. Last year, while watching my weekday dose of TV, I came across an intriguing show about organising. You’ve probably also heard of Marie Kondo’s “spark joy” series. I started watching it because I could use some organising ideas like all the other mums I know.
I found a brand-new folding technique (basically, folding all your clothes into little rectangles, organising when appropriate, hanging things vertically, and grouped similar shapes and sizes together).
But after a few episodes, the message for success with struggling families became clear: You don’t want as much as you believe. If you do, you’ll be able to enjoy your life more. You will just have to worry about the things that matter.
Just do things in your life that you really enjoy.
4 THINGS BUSY MUMS DO MAKE LIFE EASIER
It’s a little cheesy, as I said, or at least it appears to be on the surface. It’s almost, dares I say, tear-jerking to watch these families let go of their needless clutter and begin to fully appreciate their possessions and spaces.
People return to what they intended for their families, their houses, and their lives in episode after episode. People, it gets intense, really quickly.
Of course, the following weekend, I began putting what I had learned into practice. I went through my home, category by category, donating what I didn’t need and folding and organising everything neatly.
My home was noticeably cleaner and more tranquil. It wasn’t ideal — it’ll never be perfect with two kids under the age of six following me, dragging freshly sorted crayons and toys onto the carpet behind me — but it was better. The emotional process I went through was probably more significant than that.
I learned a lot by studying, What I really needed and weighing me down — what stuff I didn’t even know I needed — piece by piece, item by item to think about but kept picking up and placing back on the shelf out of habit.
4 THINGS BUSY MUMS DO MAKE LIFE EASIER
I found that the more I practised mindfulness on what brought me joy, the easier it became to make excellent decisions on what I wanted my home to be and seem to be (i.e., decluttered). Plus, the more I looked at my house, the less I liked it. In that light, the more I began to see my life.
The more I thought about it, the more I realised how many things I devote to doing week after week, day after day. These are the things I feel obligated to do to keep up with the Joneses or to keep myself excessively occupied simply because that’s what “we moms” do or because I’ve never given it much thought.
I began to reflect on how bringing joy to others is typically low on my priority list (it is high on my list for my children, but low on my list for myself). I realised that it was not only time to clean up my house and bring more joy into it, but it was also time to declutter my schedule and bring more joy into my home and with my family.
Since organising your life according to joy, levels is a lot more complex than choosing to recycle a five-year-old shirt you’re done wearing, one of the psychologists in my paediatrics practice taught me a potent trick to that end. She advises families she sees in our office to get a monthly calendar and write down all of their commitments — meetings, appointments, major school projects, after-school activities, and so on.
4 THINGS BUSY MUMS DO MAKE LIFE EASIER
She makes them write all down in red unless it’s something they’ve been looking forward to all week. She then instructs them to take a blue pen and jot down all of the things they engage in for relaxation, recreation, or fun.
Patients are often surprised by the findings when they know how much time they spend spinning plates during the week. It turns out that the more dishes you have spinning, the more effort it takes to keep them all moving. Getting my two daughters to dance class or music lessons is one thing.
Setting three alarms a few months ahead of time so I don’t miss the chance to sign them up in the first place is quite another. It’s no surprise that I (we) are all highly stressed. We’re choosing to be in several cases.
4 THINGS BUSY MUMS DO MAKE LIFE EASIER
I’m not going to be able to thoroughly declutter my home when my children are still young. This is almost guaranteed by the endless flood of artwork, clothes, and toys. I will, however, work on a less-is-more mentality like all the other families I encounter.
When our physical spaces, schedules, and minds are simplified, we can concentrate more on what really matters than keep a lot of crap in order.
When it comes to the workplace, studies show that the more scattered the attention is, the less effective you are. This is also true at home. The more you multitask and overburden your system, the less likely you will do well on all of your tasks.
I’m just not going to be the most coordinated mom in the world. But, since perfection is overrated, I’m not concerned about winning Housekeeper of the Year. Decluttering isn’t just about cleaning up my house for me (though that is a fantastic by-product).
In any case, the way I declutter or organise could change next month — or the next time I binge-watch a Netflix series. It’s all about determining what matters most, what really brings us joy — in our homes, our schedules, and our lives. Who doesn’t want a little more of that, right?
4 THINGS BUSY MUMS DO MAKE LIFE EASIER
There are moments when getting too much to do means doing less, but the truth is that not all can be ignored. Households must function, meals must be prepared, clothes must be washed, and checkboxes must be checked.
Even our everyday activities, though, do not have to be overwhelming. Working moms who are efficient use these tricks to get it done in the shortest time and with the least amount of tension.
Instead of worrying about what you need to do all week to make your life happen, set aside some time to make a plan. A half-hour should suffice for organising your day or week (maybe less once you get really used to this method).
Set a timer and try to get through as much of your list as possible in one sitting. If the timer goes off and is not all done, schedule another two-hour block in a few days. Our mental burden is reduced by compartmentalising our to-do lists, enabling us to be more conscious during the day.
4 THINGS BUSY MUMS DO MAKE LIFE EASIER
I sometimes take a holiday day and spend the whole day doing errands for my dad. I’m usually exhausted and irritable by the time it’s 5:00 p.m. I frequently wish I had simply gone to work. At the very least, I’m dissatisfied and resentful about how I spent my time.
Errands are an unavoidable evil but don’t confuse them with quality time alone or with loved ones. Without raising a metaphorical finger, I manage to mark off the majority of my checklist products. You should do it (hint: the following few tricks are significant players in my success).
My housekeeping skills aren’t always up to par. So I hired someone to do the one job I just don’t want to do. Hiring a house cleaner relieved my tension and compelled me to tidy my home the night before she arrived every week, and returned my valuable time to me so that I could use it for more essential items, such as something else. Note: I recognise that not everyone can afford house cleaning services; however, the goal is to outsource housework in any way you can, within your budget.
I’m still not very good at preparing weekday meals other than spaghetti and meatballs or frozen chicken teriyaki. When it comes to holiday meal extravaganzas, I’m the star, but my husband is the kitchen wizard on weekdays.
He wears the chef’s hat in our house most Mondays through Thursdays because he and I both know I’d order takeout every night if he didn’t cook regularly (and because we’re both working on being parenting partners).
Remember that you are not the only one who can look after your house, your children, your bills, or your schedule. The never-ending to-do list that consumes your thoughts during the day, The appointments you need to keep, the dry cleaning you need to drop off, the groceries you need to purchase are harmful to your well-being and impair your ability to concentrate in the present moment. Simplifying the number of responsibilities you have, either by eliminating them or delegating them to someone else. One way to reduce the mental load (when financially and logistically possible).
4 THINGS BUSY MUMS DO MAKE LIFE EASIER
Reduce the amount of time you spend worrying about the things you need to complete by automating them. Thank goodness we live in a modern world where we can automate almost anything we do for a small fee.
If it weren’t for autopay and internet grocery and household goods delivery systems, I’d perish on the vine. I buy diapers, wipes, sippy cups, and household products like paper towels, hand soap, and toilet paper all online.
I don’t want to waste my time in a big-box store looking for necessities. In-person wholesale supermarket shopping gives me a headache. The local supermarket isn’t any better.
When I’m out and about, it’s fun to choose something to add to our family meals or carefully select a few speciality pieces, but using my “me time” to go to the store alone is a waste of time. It’s also not ideal to be lugging two small children around when trying to shop.
4 THINGS BUSY MUMS DO MAKE LIFE EASIER
Instead, every week, I order groceries and household items from online apps and deliver them to my house within two hours. To save money, look for discounts or free shipping. Both of my bills are set to autopay.
I shop for children’s clothes online, concentrating on high-quality basics that can be passed down from generation to generation. I’d rather pay a little more per item and just have to shop four times a year (with a few fun “let’s get a special outfit” outings thrown in) than pay less per item and have my clothes last less than a month.
Another helpful tip is to browse the clearance racks for pieces for your child’s next season. This necessitates a bit of a guessing game for sizing, but going a size up is typically a safe idea.
I have a few go-to places for clothes and shoes that I use daily, so I’m familiar with the sizing and fit for my kids and myself. This is very budget-dependent, but buying quality over quantity makes a big difference, particularly if you have multiple children of the same gender.
It’s challenging to be a modern mom who tries to do it all. What is the reason for this? Since you were never supposed to do so. Instead, think about taking a different path.
Look for ways to use technology to your benefit, delegate household and parenting responsibilities to your village. It takes time to actually care for yourself so you can pause, gain insight, and choose a motherhood path filled with more joy sparks (and fewer to-dos).
4 THINGS BUSY MUMS DO MAKE LIFE EASIER